Wednesday, July 19, 2017

A quick guide on how to survive summer in Boston

Summer is in full swing, which means heat, humidity, mosquitoes and weekend traffic. Here is how to survive this mess:
  1. Get up early before it gets too hot to leave your house. Then realize even at 6AM it's already 75F and 85% humidity.
  2. In order to avoid traffic, ride your bike to work and arrive sweaty. Change into other clothes in janitor's closet because your office doesn't provide better facilities.
  3. Alternatively, use T and arrive late and sweaty. You will hear a story of someone's life though.
  4. Or just drive and arrive late. Ride around the block 3 times to find a subsidized parking spot. Then curse the stupid bike lanes that took away those precious 3 spots right in front of your office.
  5. Get one of those frozen sugary drinks that pretend to have something in common with coffee.
  6. School's out and students are gone, which means less traffic, but don't worry - weekend traffic starts now on Wednesday and lasts until Tuesday.
  7. Enjoy your weekends. Just avoid Cape Cod LIKE PLAGUE.
  8. It's seems nice outside so ride your bike to work. Get completely drenched in an afternoon thunderstorm.
  9. Make sure you saved enough last year to be able to pay your A/C electricity bill in August.
  10. Stay away from beaches - they're packed. And from lakes and forests (ticks and mosquitoes). In fact, your office cubicle seems like the best spot (free A/C).
  11. Be ready to figure out how to provide entertainment for your kids for the next 2 months, knowing your boss will let you take only 5 days off.
  12. Enjoy those long, warm evenings. Sip some wine on the deck. Mosquitoes and flies will gladly join you.
  13. Suddenly discover that the best micro-climate in your house is in the basement.
  14. Peek through the window sometime around the Labor Day and ask "Is it over yet?"

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